Ringing Like a Bell

I just read this article called, " New York's Craziest Prenups ." It detailed some of the strange stipulations from the prenuptial agreements of the rich and the not-so-rich. There's a part of me that understands having some sort of contract to protect material assets in the event that a marriage dissolves -- so many do these days. It's the other, now popular, demands that really bother me. In the article, examples were given that seem petty or just plain strange: no piano playing, no weight gain, no pregnancies, or even a fine for being rude to in-laws. I guess the people who sign these agreements before they tie the knot have their reasons. I'll also say that I'm far from being an expert on marriages or any kind of relationship for that matter, but I can't help but think extreme contracts like the ones I just read about defeat the whole idea of marriage. One of my all-time favorite poems is Shakespeare's 116th sonnet. Here's fresh, int...

"Oooh, let's call your husband and tell him you're trapped inside the building," he said. Two of my colleagues and I were filing out of the Raleigh Convention Center while the fire alarm blared in the background. I shook my head, "No way, that's beyond a joke; he'd probably have a heart attack on the spot." We stood outside for a while before the building was cleared, and we could go back inside. My two teacher friends and I were at a reading conference. Most of the other teachers there were elementary school teachers, and most of them were also women. In contrast, I was walking around with two men in tow wearing a flamboyant purple shirt and pink scarf. Not to mention the fact that the three of us possess more personality than the entire cast of SNL combined. Let's just say we were easy to spot. I'd love to tell you about how the conference changed my professional life and that I learned a million new strategies for teaching reading. I g...

My husband was in no way involved in the bridal registry process when we got married. I asked him about it, but he just brushed me off with a comment like, "Just pick out what seems best." So I did. I went around with the little UPC code gun and had a good ol' time. We live in the house my husband bought years ago, before we were married. There's a guest room painted a medium blue color, and when we were dating, it stood empty. I'd decided that we would need to put a bed in there for my friends and family to use when they visited, so I set out to register for things to furnish that room. Of course I told my husband about all this; however, I don't think it really registered . *wink* I chose a bed spread with different shades of blue, horizontal stripes -- I did not see the whole thing, outside the bag. I only saw the little sample through the window of the packaging. I couldn't imagine anyone actually buying us something that expensive, so I shrugged a...

It's no secret that I'm crazy about Jane Austen. I've read all her novels -- more than once . I'm also a fan of all the various adaptations of her works. Some are better than others; the 1995 Pride and Prejudice is absolutely my all time favorite. Here's a little peek if you've never seen it. I'm not the only Austenite. There are websites and fan clubs on every continent. Well, I'm not sure about Antarctica, but you get the idea. Her stories are popular for a variety of reasons. Jane is an excellent observer of humanity, so her characters are like people we meet in everyday life. She manages to be quite satirical and witty without being mean, but people mostly love the stories because no matter how realistic the story line is, the ending is always a happy one. Despite their misunderstandings, Darcy and Elizabeth work things out in the end. Edward finally comes to propose to Elinor, and Emma eventually gives up her matchmaking ways to realize she...

Let's just say that Wednesday was not my finest hour. On Tuesday afternoon, I and the other tenth grade English teachers found out that we needed to go through all the preliminary information for the PSAT and the PLAN with our students, the next day . Wednesday morning I was doing great. I have planning first thing in the morning, so I floated around making copies, entering grades, and chatting with other teachers. I knew filling in all the background information would be a little boring, but I figured my students would welcome a break from the grueling schedule of reading, writing, and grammar we've been doing every day. I wasn't concerned at all. About thirty minutes into my first class, the entire day crashed right into the toilet. Some students found the process bewildering and needed one-on-one coaching to get it done. Meanwhile the other students were bored, so they started doing what teens do. I learned long ago that teenagers are reactive; they say and do ...

It's a lot like playing Whack-a-mole. I wake up in the morning and think, "Okay, today I'm going to work on my pride." Off I go focusing on being humble, and the next thing you know I'm complaining. I focus on kindness and I start being lazy. I focus on having more faith and begin wasting money on stupid stuff. It drives me crazy because I'm a perfectionist. I want to get it all right all the time. The thing is that people have been trying to be perfect for a long time. Take Benjamin Franklin for example -- he developed this system for himself that, frankly, sounds exhausting. He called it " the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection ." He explains the whole thing in his autobiography.   He literally kept track of thirteen virtues every day. When he began keeping his charts as a young man, he figured out some hard truths. He says, "I was surprised to find myself so much fuller of faults than I had imagined." In th...

We call my sister the baby whisperer . From the time that she was big and strong enough to carry around a baby, she's been unstoppable. She loves them. They love her.  Got a fussy baby? Hand it to my sister, and she'll have him calmed down in less than five minutes. She knows how to handle teething, bathing, diaper changing, and I can't ever remember her learning how to do it. She has a gift; she intuitively knows what an infant needs. Children under the age of five are inexplicably drawn to my sister. She's in college and works at a big chain store part time. She's told me stories about toddlers making their way to her no matter where she is in the store. They talk to her, show her things, and tell her stories. As I'm sure you can imagine, she's a wonderful aunt to all our nieces and nephews. She's the first person each one joyfully seeks out upon arrival at family gatherings. She isn't a mother yet, but there's no doubt she'll be quit...

Last year I read Malcolm Gladwell's book, Outliers . In the book he uses historical anecdotes to illustrate his overarching claim: success doesn't happen the way you think. He brings out several interesting points about community, experience, and simply being at the right place at the right time. He also points out some interesting things about the link between perseverance and over all success. I won't tell you all about it because you might want to read the book. I'd recommend it; it passed my fifty page test. Linking self-control and perseverance to success isn't a new thing. In the late 1960's a psychologist named Walter Mischel performed The Marshmallow Test . His original intention was to simply study the mental processes behind delayed gratification. It wasn't until years later when the children used in the study grew up that he realized the experiment had uncovered much more. What is the experiment? Watch this: Isn't Theo adorable? Mischel...

Everyone I've talked to has said, "They're an investment." I haven't met a single person with a pair of Dansko shoes who doesn't love them. I'm sure there's somebody out there, but it isn't anyone I know. Other teachers, nurses, friends, even my school's principal have all said the same thing. All I did was mention that I was thinking about getting a better pair of teacher shoes. That little opening did it. I heard all about how I would buy a pair and never go back. Lately my feet and lower legs have been just a little bit tired and achy. My shoe philosophy since I started teaching has been to buy shoes that are decent but not too pricey. I also have to admit a weakness for shoes that match a particular dress or look lovely, so I've suffered for fashion sometimes. I started to google 'teacher shoes' and ask around. The result? Like I already said, everybody is crazy about Dansko. Not the best looking shoes in the world, but und...