Bluegrass, In-laws, and Learning to Live in the Present
I love bluegrass. This isn't a new taste I've developed; I've always liked it. Old school bluegrass is not something I want to listen to every day, but I can't get enough of the younger women singing in a style I like to call light bluegrass. It's really probably just folk music. Right now I'm listening to a lot of Sarah Jaroz, The Wailin' Jennys, and Crooked Still.
I'm also crazy about anything live. You can watch something on TV, but it somehow never measures up to being there in person. Here's a universal truth -- just because something is fun and awesome live doesn't mean it will be as great to watch on TV. How many of you groan when somebody says, "HEY! You're going to love this video of my son's second birthday party!"? That's what I thought.
My husband and his parents aren't as crazy about that kind of stuff as I am. Sometimes I think I've married into a family of people that would actually rather skip the whole thing altogether. When we have dinner with my husband's parents, everything must be perfectly planned preparing for any and every eventuality. Then everyone quietly eats and immediately goes home. If you've ever spent any time with my riotous family, you probably understand that my in-laws are a mystery to me. For my family, it's come when you want, as you are, and stay as long as you want. We're also likely to do things on the spur of the moment. "Wanna drive to the beach on the day after Christmas? Sure! Let's go!" Not so my in-laws.
For the most part I have learned to accept this. My mother and father-in-law treat me as their own daughter. I have no doubt that they love me and would give me a kidney if I needed one. Just don't ask them to be spontaneous. But sometimes I just can't help myself.
On Friday afternoon I got some tickets to the local bluegrass festival. It's been happening for a few years now, and whenever it does, I always find myself looking toward the venue with longing when we drive by. So there I was driving home with tickets for the next day. The outlook wasn't good. I figured I had about a ten percent chance of convincing my husband to come along not to mention his parents. On my way home, I called my husband and his dad to make my sales pitch. I got a 'maybe,' which was more hopeful than I thought it'd be. It all hinged on my mother-in-law's decision.
My husband talked to her on Friday night and told me she wanted to go. You might think I'd be really excited at that point, but I couldn't help but wonder how things would go. I'd convinced them to come along, but what if they didn't have a good time? It would be my fault for dragging them out into a field to hear a banjo.
We had a really good time. My mother-in-law was surprisingly excited about the whole thing. I could have lounged out there in my lawn chair all day, but we only stayed for a few hours. I enjoyed every minute, and I'm convinced my husband and his parents did too. I'm glad they decided to take a chance and come along.
There's another big difference between my husband's people and me. I love to take pictures. I've always lived with the philosophy that you can never have too many pictures. I felt appalled when I got married and discovered that my husband only had a handful of pictures from his childhood. He swears he's been photographed more in one year since we got married than in his entire life before we met put together.
He loves me, so he's a good sport about it most of the time. His family, however, hasn't come around so quickly. I will say that they take more pictures of important family events now than they used to, but they still don't like it.
I took two pictures yesterday, one of myself and one of my in-laws.
I'm also crazy about anything live. You can watch something on TV, but it somehow never measures up to being there in person. Here's a universal truth -- just because something is fun and awesome live doesn't mean it will be as great to watch on TV. How many of you groan when somebody says, "HEY! You're going to love this video of my son's second birthday party!"? That's what I thought.
My husband and his parents aren't as crazy about that kind of stuff as I am. Sometimes I think I've married into a family of people that would actually rather skip the whole thing altogether. When we have dinner with my husband's parents, everything must be perfectly planned preparing for any and every eventuality. Then everyone quietly eats and immediately goes home. If you've ever spent any time with my riotous family, you probably understand that my in-laws are a mystery to me. For my family, it's come when you want, as you are, and stay as long as you want. We're also likely to do things on the spur of the moment. "Wanna drive to the beach on the day after Christmas? Sure! Let's go!" Not so my in-laws.
For the most part I have learned to accept this. My mother and father-in-law treat me as their own daughter. I have no doubt that they love me and would give me a kidney if I needed one. Just don't ask them to be spontaneous. But sometimes I just can't help myself.
On Friday afternoon I got some tickets to the local bluegrass festival. It's been happening for a few years now, and whenever it does, I always find myself looking toward the venue with longing when we drive by. So there I was driving home with tickets for the next day. The outlook wasn't good. I figured I had about a ten percent chance of convincing my husband to come along not to mention his parents. On my way home, I called my husband and his dad to make my sales pitch. I got a 'maybe,' which was more hopeful than I thought it'd be. It all hinged on my mother-in-law's decision.
My husband talked to her on Friday night and told me she wanted to go. You might think I'd be really excited at that point, but I couldn't help but wonder how things would go. I'd convinced them to come along, but what if they didn't have a good time? It would be my fault for dragging them out into a field to hear a banjo.
We had a really good time. My mother-in-law was surprisingly excited about the whole thing. I could have lounged out there in my lawn chair all day, but we only stayed for a few hours. I enjoyed every minute, and I'm convinced my husband and his parents did too. I'm glad they decided to take a chance and come along.
There's another big difference between my husband's people and me. I love to take pictures. I've always lived with the philosophy that you can never have too many pictures. I felt appalled when I got married and discovered that my husband only had a handful of pictures from his childhood. He swears he's been photographed more in one year since we got married than in his entire life before we met put together.
He loves me, so he's a good sport about it most of the time. His family, however, hasn't come around so quickly. I will say that they take more pictures of important family events now than they used to, but they still don't like it.
I took two pictures yesterday, one of myself and one of my in-laws.
You can see how well that went.
All things considered, being a member of my husband's family has been good for me. I've learned to actually plan and be organized, for one thing. I've also learned that I don't have to take a picture of every second of every good thing that happens to me. When I put the camera down out of love and respect for them, I realized that I had more fun too. Instead of fussing over getting just the right picture, I started actually being present and enjoying the moment. I've learned to strike a balance. I take a few pictures; then I put my camera away.
I'm figuring out how to truly be present wherever I am. The past can be a good thing to remember, but it isn't any substitute for the life being lived today. Learning how to live now is the way to be happy in life. It sounds easy, but putting it into practice each day is really difficult. Whenever I find myself worrying or being sad about the future or the past, I call myself back to the present moment.
Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10a NKJV
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